Just before Feb. 14, a student receives a short message from their talking stage that takes months to respond, asking to be their valentine. Moments later while scrolling online, they see a girl receiving a bouquet of flowers “just because,” her favorite snacks, and a long hand-written letter asking to be her valentine. In a world where “ghosting” is a hobby, or how “situationships” are the default setting, the bar for relationships has fallen so low, that it sparked a rise in standards. For many, the bare minimum is no longer enough, princess treatment is becoming the new expectation. That begs the question, “what is considered the bare minimum and what is considered princess treatment?”
Despite the name, “princess treatment” isn’t necessarily about expensive gifts or wearing a literal crown, it’s about intentionality. “Princess treatment is when someone does something for the other even if it’s overly simple and goes way too above and beyond,” said student Gabrielle Lily Verayo. In terms of gift-giving, princess treatment involves receiving something simply because it reminded a partner of their significant other, rather than waiting for a special occasion. However, even these intentions are becoming the bare minimum. According to a recent survey, 62.5 percent of students believe that giving gifts to family is the bare minimum, while the other 37.5 percent consider it princess treatment. Student Naomi Edejer says, “offering gifts to my family is the bare minimum because it is a deeply rooted tradition in my culture.” Physical acts of service also fall into this gray area. While some view tying a partner’s shoes as an act of devotion, others, like student Nilima Bhusal, disagree, saying “tying your shoes would be the bare minimum because it’s nothing special, your friends and other people would do it without a problem if you asked.”
On the other hand, many students define the bare minimum as basic social etiquette. “The bare minimum is doing things that are mannerous and should have been taught,” says student Illary Aragon. Things like carrying heavy bags, opening doors, pulling out chairs and keeping a mental list of a partner’s favorite things. When these basic manners are missing, the “princess treatment” becomes a necessary correction to a lack of effort. However, the debate often overlooks the “why” behind the trend. On platforms like Tiktok and Instagram, the “pink pilled” and “soft girl” aesthetics have popularized the idea that a partner should act as a provider of comfort. This has led some to argue that the expectations have become unrealistic for high schoolers on a budget. But for the majority of Cerritos students, the conclusion remains. It isn’t about the price tag, but the thought.
Whether it is a handwritten note or a door held open, the distinction between the bare minimum and princess treatment usually comes down to one thing, how much the other person is actually paying attention. In a dating culture that feels increasingly disconnected, it could be that the best acts of service stem from simply just being seen and planning things from there.
